Sunday, April 25, 2010

My Schnitzel is Bigger than Your Bratwurst

Mariana has been “out-Whataburgering” me ever since we left Asia, as she has been lucky enough to consistently order a plate of food that is far superior to my own. Then one beautiful German afternoon, the clouds broke and the sky cleared, warm sunshine poured itself onto the land, and I, Ryan Thomas Kuhl, finally out-ordered my wife.

Mariana and I were cruising around downtown Frankfurt on our second day in Germany feeling much better than we had the prior day (much thanks to the pork knuckle and a good night’s sleep) when we happened upon a farmers market dealing out all sorts of German delicacies. With hunger back in my repertoire, I led Mariana into the market and proceeded to ask her what she wanted for lunch. Wisely, she went for the first piece of deliciousness that she laid eyes on and ordered an amazing looking bratwurst served with bread. Feeling slightly inadequate on a number of psychological levels, I opted to continue my food odyssey and politely declined the foot long brat. That’s when I heard the angels begin to sing from a small booth tucked away in a discreet corner of the market that was emitting smells of sautéed vegetables and fried meat. My inability to speak any German what-so-ever could not impede my progress as I confidently strode to front of the line, pointed at what resembled a little slice of heaven, and awkwardly shouted “Schnitzel!” The woman behind the counter giggled as a man pulled a tender slice of freshly fried pork and smothered it with sautéed onions. The schnitzel was slightly smaller than a Volkswagen and served with bread, yet it only set me back 4 Euros. Confident, I made my way to the small table where Mariana was waiting for me with two glasses of apfelwein and threw my conquest down like a household cat proudly displaying his fresh kill on the back porch of his owner. Thoroughly impressed, I’m sure, Mariana’s eyes widened as she admitted to finally being out-Whataburgered. Moved by her sincere display of defeat, I gladly shared my schnitzel and commenced a wonderful conversation that would spark the start to another beautiful day alone with my best friend in Europe. I was so happy that I even accompanied her into some of the nearby malls for a while.

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