The wine flu is a highly contagious disease that is typically spread through the over consumption of beer, wine, or spirits. It is most commonly found in regions of extreme fun and can easily be transmitted during wild parties. If wine flu is in fact an actual disease, then I have spent much of the last half of my life suffering from its unfortunate side effects. I can safely say, though, that I had never caught the wine flu from a baby bottle until my last fateful night in Paris. Hillary and her evil gang of sickly roommates conspired with my wife and dragged me, much against my will, to a famous fondue restaurant where they served delicious melted cheeses with an array of delectable side items like bread, meat, and pickles. They then forced me to overdose on fun and drink cheap red wine from apparently the only vessel available to the restaurant, a baby bottle. I fought hard against their imposing will, but in the end I was defeated. The rest of my night is a slight blur, but I remember a late night “gyro that changed my life” and an elaborate candy stand that may or may not have been inspired by a scene from “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”. Needless to say, I was thankful that I did not have an early morning flight to Hungary the next day.
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