After watching Avatar with Thai subtitles at the local cineplex, Mariana and I both decided that we needed a good massage and we knew just where to go. We had seen a Thai massage business right next to our hostel that offered a 60 minute Thai massage for 200 baht. We walked in and I immediately said "So let me get this straight...I pay you $6 US and you will give me an hour long massage?" The lady at the front of the store smiled sweetly and said "Yes". I swiftly agreed to her offer and immediately booked two massages. Within 5 minutes, two fairly large Thai men walked downstairs and summoned us to the changing room with extremely calm and pleasant demeanors. This is where I need to explain the difference between a 60 minute Swedish massage and a 6o minute Thai massage.
Your experience begins harmlessly enough with a gentle washing of the feet, a changing in to loose robes, and a sizing of ridiculously comfortable sandals. You are then escorted to a dimly lit room full of comfortable beds that even Goldilox would envy. You lay down and begin to relax as soft Thai music eloquently lulls you to sleep. Then the masseuse walks in and you soon realize that life as you have known it for the last 15 minutes is over. Your date with the "Dark Lord" has been made.
A Thai masseuse is actually a sadist who hides their desire to inflict bodily harm to their patrons behind a warm demeanor and trustworthy smile. Mariana and I spent the next hour having our body contorted in to positions that I would have cerainly thought to be impossible prior to our torture session. Grown men walked on our backs and applied immense pressure to areas of the body that never did anything to ask for such treatment. I was left speechless by the end of the silent, yet extremely physical interrogation, and Mariana was left crying from laughter as I exited the massage shop whimpering in pain.