Thursday, January 21, 2010

Date Night (Dinner and a Movie with a Slice of Physical Torture for Dessert)

Let me begin this session with a statement of fact - Thai food is incredible! Whether you are eating roasted duck, pork, chicken or beef with rice, rice noodle, glass noodle, or yellow noodle does not matter. They are all incredible by themselves or in some delectable soup broth. My hands down favorite though, is the ability to subjectively add "phet" or "spice" as we know it to any dish that you choose. That being said, we began our date with roasted duck over rice served with oyster sauce and a bowl of tom yum with yellow noodles, beef, pork slices, three mystery meat balls, and extra phet. Each dish comes equipped with a variety of vegetables, but our personal favorite is fried morning glory (also served with oyster sauce). We then followed the main dishes with iced thai tea served with condensed milk and mango with sticky rice. YES!! All together, our dinner cost 120 baht, which is roughly $4 US. After dinner, we decided to go to the mall at Siam Square to see if we could catch a movie.

After watching Avatar with Thai subtitles at the local cineplex, Mariana and I both decided that we needed a good massage and we knew just where to go. We had seen a Thai massage business right next to our hostel that offered a 60 minute Thai massage for 200 baht. We walked in and I immediately said "So let me get this straight...I pay you $6 US and you will give me an hour long massage?" The lady at the front of the store smiled sweetly and said "Yes". I swiftly agreed to her offer and immediately booked two massages. Within 5 minutes, two fairly large Thai men walked downstairs and summoned us to the changing room with extremely calm and pleasant demeanors. This is where I need to explain the difference between a 60 minute Swedish massage and a 6o minute Thai massage.

Your experience begins harmlessly enough with a gentle washing of the feet, a changing in to loose robes, and a sizing of ridiculously comfortable sandals. You are then escorted to a dimly lit room full of comfortable beds that even Goldilox would envy. You lay down and begin to relax as soft Thai music eloquently lulls you to sleep. Then the masseuse walks in and you soon realize that life as you have known it for the last 15 minutes is over. Your date with the "Dark Lord" has been made.

A Thai masseuse is actually a sadist who hides their desire to inflict bodily harm to their patrons behind a warm demeanor and trustworthy smile. Mariana and I spent the next hour having our body contorted in to positions that I would have cerainly thought to be impossible prior to our torture session. Grown men walked on our backs and applied immense pressure to areas of the body that never did anything to ask for such treatment. I was left speechless by the end of the silent, yet extremely physical interrogation, and Mariana was left crying from laughter as I exited the massage shop whimpering in pain.

Caveat Emptor.

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