Friday, February 5, 2010

Radar Love

I never really knew what the band Golden Earring was talking about when they sang their hit "Radar Love" until I was sitting on a double prop plane preparing for a flight from Hanoi to Laos. Knowledge is a wonderful thing unless the retained information consists of something along the lines of: "Did you know that the entire country of Laos has no radar and that pilots land the planes using sight alone?" I am sorry, could you repeat that...I thought you said that an entire nation does not have radar. Is that possible in 2010? I have no idea, but it is difficult to shake a statement like that once it has been introduced to my anxiety-ridden thoughts . So, I sat on a cramped plane with two propellers, palms sweating, trying to look confident to my fellow passengers as I rapidly chewed all of the spearmint taste out of my gum. I eventually felt more at ease once the plane took off and levelled at its cruising altitude. That is, until Mariana and I were served our mystery sanwiches, fruit, and cake in a beautiful white box that said..."Laos Airlines - You're Safe With Us".


What the hell do you mean "You're Safe With Us"? I am no marketing major, but I think the PR department from Laos Airlines needs to go back to the drawing board. Let me explain.

My mind tends to wander when I hear disturbing slogans like that, and I add things like:

*Naw..."You're Safe With Us"
*Don't Worry..."You're Safe With Us"
*It's OK..."You're Safe With Us"
*I don't know where you heard that from, but..."You're Safe With Us"
*The UN said what..."You're Safe With Us"
*Pay no attention to our casualty statistics..."You're Safe With Us"
*That was months ago..."You're Safe With Us"

After a very long hour and fifteen minutes, we made a very hard and fast landing, stepped off the runway, entered the airport that reminded me of a dated Burger King in Port Aransas, and successfully received our visas. Welcome to Laos!


  1. *Never mind that light, it blinks all the time..."You're Safe With Us"

  2. * In the unlikely event of engine failure, please remove glass window, extend your arm out far, and flap vigorously in an up and down motion. "You're Safe With Us"

  3. Highway regulations encourage us to land anywhere we deem appropriate and necessary. "You're Safe With Us"