Solitary Confinement

It was silly of me to assume that to pay more meant to get more. On an island as unregulated as Sri Lanka, a tourist excursion can be arranged by anyone with a phone and a pen. Fortunately for Mariana and I, the owner of our hotel in Hikkaduwa Beach had both and was more than willing to help us plan our trip to the "tea country" of Sri Lanka. I mentioned earlier that "driving under the assumption" is extremely dangerous, but "purchasing under the assumption" can be equally so. That's how Mariana and I spent twice as much per day to get half as much as any good tourist should. Thus, ten minutes into an 8-hour drive on the first day of a four day tour, panick began to set in for a person with an uncanny ability to worry about everything and nothing simultaneously. Now I have had panick attacks before, some lasting longer than others, but this was certainly my first 96-hour experience. Having some time to reflect on my worries, I have narrowed down the root of my problems to the following possible causes:

1. The fact that the driver immediately expressed his concern over the moronic state of our itinerary.

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2. The fact that I realized that I had just placed myself, my wife, and all of our luggage into a van driven by a complete stranger that was headed to an unknown, isolated section of a volatile country.

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3. The fact that I could not even say hello in either of the two main languages spoken by locals.

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4. The fact that we had 15 hours of driving along narrow passageways on steep mountainside to wind around for the next 3 days.

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5. The fact that incessant traffic made 100 km destinations into a 5 hour journey.

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6. The fact that political posters of individuals resembling Sri Lankan versions of Pablo Escobar were plasteredon everything from buildings to buses all along the roadways.

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7. The fact that people were sleeping half-naked on the sides of the road using the flat curbs as pillows.

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8. The fact that our driver told us stories of violence and death associated to the civil war that had just ended 18 months prior to our arrival.

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9. The fact that we were the only guests staying at our first hotel.

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10. The fact that my senses were being constantly invaded by excessive heat, body odor, and fart smell in a non-airconditioned bus.

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11. The fact that I had 20+ mosquito bites covering my body in a country where dengue and malaria are common problems.

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12. The fact that the only English speaking channel on the first television that I had seen in weeks was broadcasting a snowy version of The O'Reilly Factor.

*I can't say why for sure, but somewhere in the solitary confinement of my mind, something just did not feel right. Oh well...we ended up having alot of fun!*